Time to stop hiding and get back in the game.
Have you ever put yourself out there, said you were going to do something or finish something, only to miss the deadline? So, you apologize and re-commit. Then something comes up and you have to put it off again. When this happens to me, this is the point where things can go one of two ways -- I step up, apologize yet again, then (finally) get it done; or, I get uncomfortable and continue to procrastinate. To be fair, I usually step up and get it done, especially if the added delay was due to no fault of my own. Even when that is the case, I'd still sometimes find myself stuck. For whatever reason, I am embarrassed that I haven’t done whatever it is that I am supposed to do. And yet I still don’t do it. Then, when I finally get it done, I’m relieved. I’m also embarrassed yet again - only this time, for how long it took me.
Well that is what happened with this blog - something personal to me, something I am passionate about. I found myself stuck. And as more time passed without a new post, I'd fall deeper in the hole.
It isn’t for a lack of ideas. As I write this, I have 17 posts in progress - some just started, others nearly finished.
When the day is over, let it go. Don’t dwell on what you could’ve or should’ve done. Tomorrow is another day & another chance. ~Mandy Hale
I had started to overthink it. I told myself that I should write something special in February for Black History Month. I should post something on Valentines Day. I should write something to post on March 6th, the day my mother passed away in 2012, to honor her memory. I should write something for Women’s History Month, April Fools Day, my own birthday...
I got stuck in “I should.”
Then today, I snapped out of it. I realized that I wasn’t on a schedule. There weren’t any rules of what to say, how to say it or when to say it. No one was judging me. And even if they were, that was on them, not me.
And there it was, my ‘aha’ moment: I was no longer being Fearlessly Me.
This blog is my space. No one asked me to do it. I wanted to do it. I wanted a place to share my journey to self-awareness: moments - good and bad, lessons - easy and hard, experiences - comfortable and uncomfortable, and those ‘aha’ moments just like the one I had today.
This post is my way of getting un-stuck. Of acknowledging that I haven’t done what I’ve been meaning to do, regardless of why. Then letting it go so I can move forward. So, with one deep breath in and a big exhale out, that is exactly what I am going to do.